


Let Go and Hold On

by Rivulet027



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Background Nebula/Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Grief/Mourning, Hulk Hugs (Marvel), Hulk Talks (Marvel), M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Smart Hulk (Marvel), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Survivor Guilt, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 13:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19442239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: Steve attempting to deal in the aftermath of Infinity Wars, during the Five Year gap, as he starts a relationship with Bruce while realizing he's also interested in Hulk.





	Let Go and Hold On

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [[art] for Let Go and Hold On](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19428679) by [OldToad_art (OldToadWoman)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldToadWoman/pseuds/OldToad_art). 



> Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Marvel. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
> 
> A/N: A huge thank you to OldToadWoman who provided the art that inspired this piece and then took the time to beta this fic! Thank you so much!

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” ~ Havelock Ellis

Hulk appears a day after they lose. Thanos is dead. There is no going back. Steve, Rhodey, and Natasha are quietly having an early breakfast in the kitchen when Rhodey says in a low tone, “How is Thor going to take this?”

Steve turns and takes in Hulk. He’s sitting outside, watching the sunrise. He’s just there and Steve wants to be angry. The team had needed Hulk and he hadn’t been there. Steve sighs, he doesn’t have the energy to be angry and part of him isn’t even sure he has a right to be angry. Hulk refused. Bruce suited up.

Natasha’s hands wrap around her coffee mug as she stares into it. “He’s been out there for about an hour. He isn’t ready to forgive me yet.”

Steve’s head snaps around to take her in.

Her eyes lift to meet his and she gives his concern a wane smile. “It’s nothing new, nothing we haven’t already talked about, except I don’t think he’s trying to protect Bruce anymore. I think this is about him feeling used.”

“We should’ve included him more,” Steve concludes. “Not just in fights.”

“Hulk always liked Clint best,” Natasha sighs, before taking a sip of her coffee.

“Do you think he’ll want something to eat or want to wait until he’s Bruce again?” Rhodey asks.

“I’ll ask,” Steve says, giving Natasha a nod and Rhodey’s shoulder a brief clasp. He takes his coffee with him and approaches.

Hulk glances at him, but goes back to watching the orange and pink horizon. Steve settles down next to him, taking in the beauty before him while ignoring the way it makes his fingers itch to capture it. He tries to savor his coffee instead.

Hulk huffs out a breath and tells him, “Hulk not lose before.”

His words sound like a confession and all Steve can focus on is how it shows how different they are. Steve is so used to running towards a fight. He’s been used to losing and getting back up for a long time. Hulk is used to running to avoid fights or winning when he chooses to fight.

Hulk pokes him. “Hulk champion on Sakaar.”

“Is my face that obvious?” Steve asks turning towards him.

Hulk wraps an arm around him and Steve stills. Hulk’s never touched him outside of battle, but Hulk’s hand is a comforting weight on his shoulder. Steve sighs then shifts so he can lean into the warmth of Hulk’s side.

“I’m sorry that you and Thor didn’t have the team to back you when you and the Asgardians fought Thanos,” Steve tells him. They would’ve lost, that much is obvious, but Steve can’t shake his concern. He’s seen the hollowness in Thor’s face. He knows shell shock when he sees it and Thor had said that one of the last things Heimdall had done was get Hulk to safety.

“Traveling to Earth, not your fault,” Hulk rumbles softly.

Steve pats Hulk’s arm. “Still wish we could’ve helped.”

The futility of their situation is overwhelming. Steve wishes Sam were here. Sam would know what to say. He misses his friends with a sharpness that catches his breath. Would Sam still be dead if Steve hadn’t dragged him into this? Would Bucky have gone through everything he did if Steve hadn’t put the Howling Commandos together?

Hulk rubs a large hand down his back carefully, interrupting Steve’s thoughts, as he reiterates. “Not your fault.”

Steve manages a hollow laugh, closing his eyes as he feels tears brim and spill over. He thought he was done crying, that he didn’t have any tears left.

“You’re here,” Thor says, calling their attention. Thor approaches slowly, eyes searching over Hulk carefully. Steve can feel how still Hulk is holding himself, how tense he is. Thor opens his mouth to speak, huffs and looks to the side. He runs a hand over his mouth, shakes his head, then looks at his feet. “Thank you. You and Bruce didn’t have to stay, didn’t have to help us, but Heimdall managed to get so many people to safety and Valkyrie to protect them. Thank you.”

Steve can feel the tension slowly melt from Hulk.

“Angry Girl?” Hulk asks.

“Somewhere, not here, protecting my people,” Thor manages. “I didn’t lead them all to their deaths and for that I thank you and her...and Heimdall.”

Just how many of his people did Thor watch die? Steve wants to protest, wants to offer condolences, but the words stay stuck in his throat. Hadn’t he just been thinking something similar about himself a moment earlier? Hulk reaches out and pulls Thor into a one-armed hug, keeping his other hand a reassuring presence on Steve’s back. Steve’s grip on his coffee mug tightens as he struggles not to curl in on himself. Everything hurts. He wants to help, to do something productive, but everything hurts. Thor eases down to sit quietly on Hulk’s other side. The three of them watch the sun rise in silence. Steve finishes his coffee trying to ignore how the stillness and beauty seem so normal in a world that’s been completely changed.

“We’re going to help with clean up,” Thor tells Hulk. “Will you stay and help us?”

“Hulk help.”

They spend their day helping to clean up rubble and clearing out abandoned cars. They search each car for any supplies. Thankfully most of the people who died after the snap were quickly buried. They have no way of knowing the exact numbers of those who died. Should they add the Asgardians lost to that number as well? Steve tries not to think about it, tries to focus on the tasks in front of him. He has to help the people who’ve survived. At the end of the day, when it’s time to go back to the Avengers’ compound, he has to help Bruce into the car. Bruce leans on him as Natasha drives them back. He probably doesn’t smell nice, having worked all day, but Bruce can barely keep his eyes open. Steve wraps an arm around him and Bruce sleeps leaning into him for the rest of the drive back.

He helps Bruce to his room after, encourages him to shower. Bruce blinks at him, obviously struggling to keep his eyes open. “You too.”

“I’ll shower once I know you’re safely in bed,” Steve reassures.

“Keep me awake then,” Bruce tells him, heading for the shower. Steve stands outside the door to give Bruce some privacy, until he hears Bruce close the shower curtain.

“It was nice of him to come help us,” Steve starts awkwardly. Bruce stays awake better with conversation.

Bruce huffs out a laugh and admits, “I wasn’t sure he would. I’m not used to thinking of him as his own person, but I can’t really ignore the evidence. I wanted him to fight and he told me no. I asked him to help with clean-up and there he was.”

“I don’t think he’s lost a fight before,” Steve attempts to reassure.

“No, he hasn’t,” Bruce agrees. “I think he mostly wanted to see how the team was doing. He’s sad we don’t know where Clint is.”

“They were friends,” Steve agrees.

“Yeah,” Bruce admits as he turns the water off.

“That was fast,” Steve comments as he hands Bruce a towel.

“I know how to take a quick shower, your turn.”

Steve assesses himself: is he in danger of falling asleep in the shower? He doesn’t think so. He’s exhausted, almost pleasantly numb with how tired he is, but he doesn’t think he’s in danger of falling asleep.

“You need to eat,” Steve reminds himself.

Bruce waves him off, as he eases himself down to sit on the toilet lid. “Showers then food, then sleep.”

Steve nods. “My clothes are in my room.”

Bruce leans his head back, closes his eyes, then offers, “Borrow some of mine.”

It would be easy to go to his room and shower, but Steve worries that if he does Bruce will fall asleep sitting on the toilet. 

“There are extra towels in the cabinet next to the sink,” Bruce tells him before levering himself up carefully. He grimaces once he has his feet under him. Then he opens the cabinet and steps out of the bathroom.

Steve stares at the closed bathroom door briefly. He’s not sure what to think about how distracting he found the sight of Bruce walking away with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Steve shakes his head smiling before he strips out of his clothes and steps under the spray. The warmth helps to melt some of the tension he’s been carrying in his shoulders all day while the water washes away the grime. For a moment he wishes the water could wash away his pain as well, but he’s going to have to mourn his loved ones. He’s mourned before, he can do this again.

When he steps out of the shower Bruce is just setting clothes on the counter. He turns his back to Steve quickly and apologizes in a soft tone. Bruce has already changed into pajama pants and Steve watches him step out of the bathroom again. Steve almost points out he was in the army and so sick before the army that he doesn’t really have much modesty left, but again the sight of Bruce walking away half-dressed fills him with a longing he’s not sure if he should act on. He’s just hurting, they’re both just hurting, still Steve tells himself he shouldn’t use one of his friends to distract himself from the pain.

The pajama bottoms are soft, but not quite long enough for his legs. The shirt fits. Steve can almost imagine how Sam would tease him that the shirt fits him better than some of the ones in his dresser. Steve runs a hand down his face. He’s going to miss bantering with Sam. 

When he steps into Bruce’s room it’s to find Bruce laying face down on his bed, still only wear his pajama bottoms. Steve hesitates. Part of him wants to stand there, drink in the sight of Bruce looking so comfortable, but he also knows that both of them need to eat. 

“Bruce?” Steve asks, hoping he doesn’t have to wake him.

Bruce rolls onto his back and blinks sleepily up at him. Steve wets his lips. He wants to close the distance between them, run his fingers into Bruce’s hair and...Steve forces himself to look away. They both need to go to the kitchen and eat.

“Did he…” Bruce starts, then stops. “Was Hulk helpful?”

“Yes. He kept an eye on Thor.”

“Thor’s not doing well,” Bruce comments.

No, he’s not. Steve thinks he should be able to relate, having lost his whole world and having to learn to start over, but it’s not quite the same and he can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound contrite. With a sigh Steve sits down on Bruce’s bed, then manages, “He’s trying. He’s helping us with clean up.”

Thor could choose to leave, to go searching for the people he sent away. Steve not sure he’s ready to lose more of their team. They’d only just met Carol, but she couldn’t stay, and Steve is still surprised by how much that hurt. Nebula and Rocket are talking about leaving, seeing who else needs help: Earth isn’t the only planet that’s been affected. So far they haven’t and Steve’s grateful. Tony is still recovering. He knows Rhodey and Natasha are working with Okoye and M’Baku to try and find some way to restore organization to the world. Some governments are intact, others aren’t. Steve’s not sure how to help or where to even start. He’s not even sure it’s something he’s qualified to help with. Helping clean up, helping people one on one, is about all he can handle at the moment.

“M’Baku invited him to Wakanda,” Bruce says.

Steve frowns as he turns to look at Bruce. Did he miss something that Bruce was saying?

“Thor?” he attempts to clarify.

“Yeah,” Bruce agrees as he grabs a shirt and puts it on. He drops back onto his bed while he continues talking. “I guess he’s hoping the Asgardians will want to settle there if they make their way to Earth, since their science is similar to Wakanda’s, though more advanced in some areas.”

Is Thor leaving? Steve takes a deep breath. He needs to accept that this is their world now. The time stone is gone, there’s no going back. They can only clean up and rebuild. Steve forces himself to take another deep breath, punching Bruce’s wall isn’t going to help anyone. He’d probably only end up upsetting Bruce and maybe Hulk too.

“Is he going?” Steve asks. He’s not ready to say goodbye to another member of their team, even if it’s only temporary.

“He said Valkyrie knows to find him here and he wants to be here when she and his people arrive, though I think he agreed to speak to his people about M’Baku’s offer when they show up,” Bruce tells him.

Steve nods to himself. Their eyes meet briefly as Steve stands. For a moment Steve thinks Bruce is going to say something, but then Bruce’s eyes linger on him. Bruce shakes his head and hauls himself upwards, then heads for his door. Steve follows.

Dinner is reheated leftovers. Most people have gone to bed for the night. Natasha and Nebula are working on a puzzle of a cabin on a lake. It’s the most competitive puzzle Steve thinks he’s ever seen. They’re working swiftly as they trade stories of their lives. They’re even keeping score of who puts fits the most puzzle pieces in. It’s easy to imagine Clint providing commentary, a play by play of the game that would’ve made them all laugh. Clint might have even talked them into a movie with subtitles on in the background. Would Sam have tried to help them with the puzzle or talked them into a board game? Would Bucky have felt comfortable enough to join in? Steve forces himself to stop looking for scenes that could’ve been and concentrates on Bruce. 

Steve barely tastes his food. It’s easier to make sure Bruce is awake to distract himself from the thoughts of the people who should still be here. 

After they finish cleaning and putting away the dishes they’ve used, Bruce tugs on his sleeve. “Walk me back to my room.”

Steve follows him down the hall. He can’t bring himself to stay in the common area, not when his head is starting to brim over with the thoughts of the people he misses. How would Bucky have fit in?

Bruce pauses outside his door. “Thank you.”

Steve nods.

Their eyes meet and linger again. Steve doesn’t want to think and he’s starting to feel exhausted from the wallowing. He shifts closer. Bruce grabs him by the front of his shirts and starts to haul him in. Steve goes willingly. Their lips meet and Steve lets himself get lost in the feel of Bruce pushing against him, their lips moving in tandem, their tongues exploring each other. Bruce fumbles for the handle of his door, then pulls Steve into the room, not breaking the kiss. 

Bruce only pulls back long enough to tell him, “Slow. We have to go slow. I can’t do fast.”

Steve agrees, darting back in and kissing Bruce thoroughly as he steers them towards Bruce’s bed. He’s not sure how to voice that he’s only doing this as a distraction from the pain, but he hopes Bruce understands.

Steve wakes up alone several hours later. He searches Bruce’s room swiftly, trying to push away the thought that he’s lost Bruce as quickly and quietly as the others. Bruce isn’t in his room and Steve pulls his pajama pants and t-shirt on again before heading to the common area. Hulk is sitting outside watching the sunrise again.

“I was worried when Bruce wasn’t there,” Steve admits as he approaches Hulk.

Hulk points at the sunrise. “You sleep.”

“It is pretty,” Steve admits. 

“Make Hulk,” Hulk pauses as if searching for the right word, then settles on. “Feel good.”

“It’s relaxing,” Steve agrees as he sits down on the grass next to Hulk.

Hulk leans in and sniffs him briefly before wrapping an arm around him. Steve closes his eyes feeling safe enough to let himself drift back into sleep. Hulk wakes him some time later by rubbing at his back. Steve shifts back to blink at him and yawns.

“Team awake. Go eat,” Hulk tells him.

“Should I have asked you first, before I slept with Bruce?” Steve wonders out loud.

“Bruce is Bruce. Hulk is Hulk.”

“You’re my friend too,” Steve insists. “I don’t want to hurt either one of you.”

Hulk shakes his head, prods him to stand, then gives him a brief push towards the compound. Natasha seems to watch him with knowing eyes. Rhodey tries to distract them. Thor eventually joins them. 

It turns into a routine. Steve joins Hulk early when the sun is rising and they talk briefly, then he joins whoever is up for breakfast. A team of them then head into a nearby town or city to help with clean up. After, he and Bruce take a shower together and get something to eat. Unless either one of them is too tired, they spend the rest of the night having sex. It keeps the pain of loss brimming just under the surface, Steve can’t taste it as sharply.

Then they take a day off to recover and Steve can feel the devastation welling up inside of him. He wakes up alone in Bruce’s bed and just lays there reminding himself how to breathe for a moment. He reminds himself there isn’t anything physically wrong and that he’s allowed to feel overwhelmed. Slowly he manages to breathe normally again. He wipes the tears off his face and stops outside his room. He considers grabbing his sketchbook. He keeps meaning to capture Hulk watching the sunrise. His hand hesitates on the door handle. He thinks about the last few sketches of friends he has in his book, friends that are no longer alive, and he walks away. He collapses on the ground next to Hulk.

“Eat,” Hulk tells him. “Then fight not-fight Hulk.”

“You want to spar?” Steve attempts to clarify.

“Yes.”

Steve thinks back to the last time they spared, he’d had his shield then. They’d circled and circled each other both of them waiting for an opening. Hulk had eventually gotten frustrated and lunged and Steve had spent a good part of the time just staying out of his way. Hulk had eventually caught him and picked him up gently before declaring himself the winner. Steve suspects Hulk found Clint and his tendency of hiding in high places more of a challenge.

“Okay, after breakfast,” Steve agrees. He needs some way to exhaust himself.

After breakfast he suits up and then pauses to frown at himself in the mirror. Shouldn’t being Captain America hurt? Hadn’t he let down the whole world? It doesn’t hurt. It feels right, comfortable, in the way he’s used to it feeling. It feels productive, even if all he’s going to do is spar with Hulk. He suspects Hulk needs some wins so he’ll feel comfortable working with the team again when he’s needed.

Steve checks in with Tony, to see if he or Pepper want to come watch him get his ass handed to him. Tony laughs and waves him off. Nebula and Rocket are teaching Rhodey how to fly the Milano. Natasha wishes him luck and then goes back to the conversation she’s having with Okoye. 

“Hulk might actually be a challenge for the Dora Milaje,” Okoye comments. “We’ll have to ask him when he’s feeling more comfortable being around people.”

“Give him a chance to beat Steve a few times first,” Natasha advises.

“Thanks,” Steve tells her wearily, before giving her a quick hug and waves goodbye to Okoye. 

Thor is the only one whose comes to watch him and Hulk spar.

“Hulk not hurt you,” Hulk reassures.

“I know,” Steve smiles. “I trust you.”

Hulk asks if Thor wants to join them, but he shakes his head.

Steve circles Hulk waiting for an opening. He has some experience fighting guys bigger than him and he’s learned a lot from Natasha over the years. Hulk’s learned too though, he knows how to fake an opening to put an opponent at a disadvantage. Eventually Hulk rushes him and Steve ducks into a roll that lets him slap Hulk on his thigh. He tries to turn to come behind Hulk, but then finds himself dropping back down to avoid getting punched. Hulk sweeps his hand back at the last moment and tags him on the shoulder.

“That’s one each!” Thor tells them. “Are you playing to ten?”

Steve doesn’t answer as he moves away quickly. They’d agreed to play to five or until Hulk manages to pin him. He doesn’t quite move fast enough and Hulk pokes him in the back, but he manages to turn and grab Hulk’s finger. Hulk lifts him up laughing, “Two.”

Hulk sets him down and shuffles away, keeping an eye on him. Steve almost points out that Hulk could’ve used the leverage to pin him, but of course he’d seen some openings too. This is friendly though, they’re being careful not to hurt each other. They start to circle each other again. Steve briefly misses his shield, he’s still getting used to fighting without it. He also finds he’s missing the way Clint and Natasha used to spar, all ferocity, and then looking each other over for bruises when they were done. 

“Distracted,” Hulk tells him.

“Sorry.”

Hulk shrugs. Thor starts to say something, but Steve misses it as he rushes forward. He starts a slide that should get him close to Hulk’s legs, but Hulk leaps away, rolls him onto his back and pins him. “Hulk win.”

Steve lays back catching his breath, feeling the weight of Hulk’s hands holding him down. He closes his eyes and tells himself it shouldn’t be a turn on, being held this firmly and yet gently at the same time. He squirms, but find his movements hindered. Hulk runs a finger over his cheek and huffs. Hulk breathes him in slowly. Steve wonders if he should apologize. Their eyes meet. Hulk looks curious and a little sad. Hulk leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek, then advises, “Don’t tell Bruce.”

Then Hulk is turning back into Bruce and the game is over. Steve takes another brief moment to catch his breath and then chide himself, before he forces himself to get up and help Bruce back into the house. Thor goes on ahead of him.

“That didn’t last long,” Bruce comments as he drops onto the couch. Thor already has glasses of tea ready. Bruce sips at his tea and raises his eyebrows.

“No, he won,” Steve admits. “Are you hungry?”

The three of them eat sandwiches and then Bruce heads to his room for a nap. Steve’s supposed to wake him up in the morning.

“We all need more practice,” Thor comments.

Steve agrees and sinks back onto the couch. Thor says he’s going for a walk around the grounds. Steve waves him off as he sips at another glass of tea. What’s he supposed to do with the rest of his morning now?

“You only played one round,” Natasha chides as she sits down in a nearby chair. She slips out of her shoes and folds her legs up onto the chair as she sips at a cup of coffee.

“Well, Hulk won,” Steve informs her.

“Work out any sexual tension?”

“What?” Steve gasps.

“Aren’t you interested in both of them?” she asks with raised eyebrows.

“They’re both my friends,” he says. “Are you angry with me?”

“If I was angry with you I’d have already told you,” Natasha tells him. “Bruce and I were a long time ago and the two of us were looking for similarities in each other that meant ignoring aspects of ourselves. Bruce and I are friends now, but Hulk doesn’t trust me yet. I’ve apologized. We can work together, but it’ll be awhile before he trusts me again.”

“Should I ask?” 

Natasha shakes her head. “You’re allowed to be happy.”

Steve’s laugh is hollow, “After failing so miserably?”

“Yes.”

Steve looks away from her, lets his gaze settle on the coffee table. She’s right. If Sam were here he would say the same thing, has said the same thing in similar circumstances.

“Everything still hurts,” he confesses.

“It does,” she agrees.

“It hurts less when I’m with Bruce,” he manages to continue. “Or spending time with Hulk.”

Natasha takes a sip of her coffee. “See, it’s not just convenient.”

Steve glances at her again.

“I never thought it was,” she tells him. “You care too much and Bruce probably needs that, Hulk too.”

“I believe in the people I surround myself with,” Steve agrees, before he sighs and runs a hand over his face. It takes him a moment to find the words, but Natasha waits. Steve sighs, then confesses. “I’m just having trouble believing in myself lately.”

“It’s still a devastating loss.”

Steve raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, time. Sam would tell us to give it time and he’d be right,” she smiles at him. “You found and recruited him on your own.”

“I needed a friend outside of work and then I pulled him into this.”

“He chose to let you. Don’t feel guilty about that,” Natasha tells him.

“You’d think I’d be used to dealing with survivor's guilt by now, but it’s just there.”

“Time,” Natasha reiterates, before she makes an exasperated noise. “I just wish Sam were here or Clint.”

“You need advice?” Steve guesses.

“I’m good at friend, not so good at romance,” she confesses.

“I’m not so great either, probably not the best person to go to for advice,” he warns.

Natasha shrugs. “Nebula and I are fucking. It’s not staying casual and I’m not sure she’s ready for me or anyone to have non-platonic feelings for her.”

Natasha is watching him with a small smile. He smiles back. She flips him off. He laughs. Startled by the sound he shoves his tea onto the coffee table. She takes a sip of her coffee.

“You’re allowed to be happy,” Steve ventures.

“Clint.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“Sam.”

“Yeah. Maybe we both just need to talk to them,” Steve admits. “I should take that advice too.”

“You should,” she tells him. “Just, I don’t think Bruce is...he’s just got to the point where he can accept that Hulk is his own person and not a monster. I’m not sure he’s ready for anyone to love him and Hulk.”

“Hulk said not to tell him.”

“That you want sex with both of them?” Natasha guesses.

Steve laughs again, letting himself as he sinks into the couch. He sighs, “Yeah. I’d probably need to talk to Hulk about that first, then Bruce. I’m not sure I’m in love with either of them, yet. I think that’s more grief and survivor's guilt while trying to figure out how we’re going to fit into what’s left of the world.”

“Have you tried talking to him?” she smirks as she widens her eyes into faux innocence.

Steve flips her off. She grins and changes the subject.

When it’s time to wake up Bruce, Steve slips into bed next to him and calls his name. Bruce groans and rolls into him, pressing his face against Steve’s shoulder. Steve runs his fingers into Bruce’s curls and smiles, then leans in and presses a kiss to the top of his head. Bruce’s fingers flex and curl around his hip. Steve relaxes as he asks, “Did you want to sleep for another hour?”  
Bruce kisses his shoulder, then levers himself up to look down at him. “You two didn’t spar for long.”

“We’ll probably go longer next time,” Steve shrugs. He cups Bruce’s cheek, wondering for a moment how long the two of them will last. Will his being interested in both Bruce and Hulk be the thing that makes Bruce stop wanting him? He agrees with Natasha and Hulk that Bruce isn’t ready to hear it, but Steve’s sure that he’s obvious right now.

Bruce kisses his palm and then shifts and Steve knows he’s about to be kissed.

“Do you…” Steve starts and then isn’t sure how to phrase what he wants to ask.

Bruce rolls off of him and sits up.

“Sorry.”

Bruce shrugs. “It’s not like we’ve done much talking. I understand if we’ve hit that point where we need to.”

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you,” Steve tells him as he sits up.

“We’re friends. Everything kinda sucks right now, but hurts less when we’re together,” Bruce offers.

Steve nods.

Bruce sighs. “I’m not very good at casual sex.”

“I’m not either.”

“You guys, the team, being one of the Avengers, was the first time I wanted to stop running in a long time,” Bruce confesses. 

“I’m glad you stayed,” Steve tells him.

“That’s not what I…” Bruce sighs then gestures between them. “I’m not very good at the whole feelings thing. My first instinct is to run because I’m worried I’ll do something wrong or misunderstand something or Hulk will hurt someone. He’s needed here. I’m needed here. So I’m doing my best to be still.”

Steve reaches out and takes Bruce’s hands. “Hulk didn’t hurt me.”

“That doesn’t mean he won’t or I won’t.”

“I might be the one that hurts you,” Steve reminds.

Bruce squeezes his hand. “That’s a good point.”

“Maybe we just take this one day at a time and check in with each other,” Steve ventures.

Bruce smiles slowly. “That sounds like a plan.”

Steve returns the smile. “I’m good at plans.”

Bruce shakes his head with a teasing laugh, before he starts to close the distance between them. Steve meets him halfway.


End file.
